What's Next?

SPM examination was over for me last week. My school life is over. The result will come out next year in March, so... what can I do now? Recently I've been doing some water colour paintings. Looks like I need to brush up on my skills because I haven't done any paintings for months.

There are a lot of other secret projects I'm currently working on. Plus, I need to read all the books I bought. The shelves where my school books were once situated are now replaced by my thick science and history books. Going to take a while reading all of those.

Well, those are my personal plans. I wonder what else can I do. Not sure if any of my friends are planning anything. But whatever it is, I just hope my holidays won't go to waste. Soon, I will step into a new life, trying new things, and perhaps, meeting new people.

Heat, Haze and Water

Who doesn't love the rain anyway?

Throughout the week, the weather was hot and wet at the same time. Rain came down pouring at dawn or in the middle of the night. I love morning and midnight rain. It makes the atmosphere cool and gloomy. Sunshine is fun, but I prefer gloomy weathers. Why? Because of the dark grey clouds that makes everything look so depressing. I always wanted to sit at the veranda, admiring the gloomy weather while listening to depressing music. The situation reflects my dark internal emotions.

Anyway, the morning rain turned to sunshine by afternoon. The sunlight was brighter than usual. Even today. It is ether the Earth is at perihelion or the ozone layer just got thinner. But slight haze makes the surrounding less clear. I wonder what caused the haze though. Too much air pollution disrupts my health.

The weather somehow cause my sickness difficult to be cured. People are getting sick and the clinics are getting more patients. Anyway, I hope I will get better soon. Another exam is approaching next week, and of course, I don't study much. At least I am (quite) satisfied with my trial examination result.

Time is Running Out!

Is this thing work?

Apparently, the trial examination is approaching in two weeks. The real SPM examination is coming in less than three months and I'm still not fully prepared! I may stop hanging around the Internet for a moment but there's no stopping me from falling asleep while studying. Since time is flying extremely fast, I should start everything by now.

Kimi the Cat,a Twisted Tale of Kimchi's Little Sister

Months ago, I've wrote a story about Kimchi, a black and white cat that was injured in an accident 3 years ago. Fortunately for Kimchi, he survived the odds, and my family took him in and nursed him back to full health. For 2 years living with my family, Kimchi grew up to be a beautiful black and white cat. He was like a little brother to me. Always greet me when I came back from school and made me happy whenever I feel down in the dumps. But the fun does not last. In December 2010, Kimchi had gone missing. Until now I have no idea where he is. Some said he's already dead, but some said that he is still alive. He never left any trace. Of course, I do miss him so much. So wherever he is now, I hope he's happy. If it is true that he had gone first, may his beautiful kitty soul rest in peace.

Now, I would like to tell a brief story about Kimchi's lovable little sister named Kimi. Kimi was born on mid May 2010. She was a little grown up when I met her. She had two sisters named Moka and Rosie, making them a unique black and white triplet. They were naughty little felines, but equally adorable. It was not long until one of Kimi's sister, Rosie, gone without a trace. It was very sad indeed, however, Moka was still alive and became Kimi's very close sister. The ever lovable Moka cared so much for Kimi. There was a moment when Kimi fell into the drain and me, together with my mother, struggled to rescue her. Moka was waiting anxiously at the side of the drain, waiting for her sister to be rescued. After some hour, Kimi was pulled out safely from the drain. Little Moka, how I adored her for being so responsible in looking after her twin sister. Unfortunately, Moka's life wasn't long. She died in an accident a few days after Kimi's drain incident. I couldn't help myself from crying at that time, and how I felt so bad for little Kimi since she had lost her precious sister. I could tell that she was grieving for her sister as well, because I've noticed her sad and tearful look.

After Moka's death, I immediately made up my mind to be Kimi's new friend. Her brother Kimchi was still alive at that time and he was still not very pleased with Kimi. I pleaded Kimchi to at least be nice to his sister, and after some time, he did. They became loyal siblings. I am so proud of them both. I remembered every morning, evening or night; I would play with those black and white siblings. I am never lonely when they were around. Kimi was the most fun-loving little cat I had ever met. She used to chase me around and bit my leg. Her favourite toy was a small coloured feather attached to a string. During my past times, I would let her play with the toy. It sure was fun watching her pouncing, chasing and skipping. Kimi was my second best friend after Kimchi, and I really wished that she would stay with me forever. However, anything was unpredictable. Four months later, Kimi went missing without leaving a single trace like her previous sister, Rosie. I started to feel upset. The most wonderful friend I had, gone for good, together with her sisters. I was speechless and couldn't stop thinking about Kimi. But I learned to let her go, go together with her sisters. She is not alone wherever she is now. Her brother, Kimchi, if proven that he was dead as well, must be together with his little sisters right now, and Kimi, she's no longer sad as she was reunited with her siblings. I'm so sure that she's happy right now.

The black and white feline siblings that I loved so much had gone before me. Even though they are not around, I can still feel like they are still playing in my memory;my heart. They had lightened my life so much. How I miss them, is very indescribable. I really wish those little black and white felines were here, so they can see how much I really love them.

Grasses Were Not As Green As It Seems

There's a proverb saying : When in Rome, do as the Romans do. However, there's a little disagreement from me about this saying. As the youngest in the family, I was born in the age of modernization. The society began to change slowly throughout the early 90s and the new millennium. I felt glad that I was brought up in the time where grasses are greener, but when I was little, I was blind about my true personality. It was not until now when I realised that I am a bohemian. I am a person with a personality totally abnormal to the modern civilization. This makes me feel out of place. I received several mocking and insults, however, I don't want to take them too seriously, instead, I will include them as one of my life lessons. I learned to be a better person. But it is not contrary to what I believe when I was little. The grass wasn't as green as I thought it will be. You see, the world is so beautiful, yet so cruel.

You cannot change nature, but you can change the way you live in it. If you ask me my views about the society, I would express more negative than positive. Of course, there are good people and bad people. But, I find most of them have rude, insensitive and impolite characters. They can't speak with a polite tune, like to give rude comments on several issues and can't seem to negotiate. There's no doubt that a fight and controversy can be started from the smallest problem. Some problems were easy to be solved with a little thinking and understanding. But due to some statements above, it took long enough for everything to turn back to the way it was.

Speaking of insensitivity, I noticed a lot of racism lately. I don't understand racists. Why are they so self-centered and so full of hatred? They disrupt the peace in this world. Somehow they always pick the wrong way in protecting their rights. I hate it when they make rude, insensitive jokes about some people, especially those people that are living in a hard life. Shame on them for making fun of poor and affected people. There's no need for racism. All humans are the same, regardless of their specialties. We just need to have a little more understanding, and compromise towards some things.

Despite all the cruelties in this world, there are still some people who take notice on what is happening. Some things we can avoid it from happening, but some things can't. Though, we should have known that the world is falling apart. We just don't know when it is going to end.

2011,Final Year of School Life

How time flies... Back then I was just a wee little 7 years old, crying during her first day of school. 10 years had passed, and by the 13th of July, my age will officially be 17. As I notice, my primary school life was... well, fascinating. Even though I got into a lot of trouble, getting bullied and embarrassed all the time, I managed to cope with them. As I enter secondary school, changes had taken over me. Slowly, but not as steady as you think.

I felt so lost when I was in Form 1. At that time, I am not used to the new atmosphere. Form 2, things changed a little. I was declining in my studies. However, as I entered Form 3, I started to realise something about myself, and I am so thankful to God that I achieved an excellent result for my PMR. Then, I passed through Form 4, which I thought it was going to be an interesting year for me... But I was wrong. 2010 was kind of a miserable year for me. But through out that time interval, I learned something new and more life lessons. I learned to be more understanding, and I also learned that I have a very different personality.

Now, the year 2011, I am a Form 5 student. Will be taking a major exam that will give tremendous effects on my future. This year is going to be hectic, but, it is the final year of my school life. I have to be more wise. Even though I am not the brightest student, inactive and horrible with words, I still have the potential. I need to be mentally stronger and braver. I know, I do feel out of place most of the time, because my personality and attitudes doesn't suits with the whole condition. I am the opposite of almost 90% of my friends and other people. Though it is hard to make most of them understand me. But, I don't want to actually care with the situation anymore. I just want to be what I can be best. I hope the final year of school life will go on with a lot of calm and excitement, because I am miserable throughout my secondary, as well as my primary school life.